Julie Gill Archives | Page 3 of 3 | Families First Mediation

by Julie Gill

Sep 2014 29

Divorce: The Best Interests Of The Children…Or The Parents?

We hear it all of the time in the Divorce Industry – decisions should be made in the ‘Best interests of the Children”. Seems rather obvious right?

You and the other parent may have different opinions of what decisions are in your children’s best interest. You don’t agree and that’s ok. You were always going to disagree on some aspects of parenting even if you had stayed together.

You can both be looking out for your children’s best interests but believe that can be obtained in different ways. That doesn’t make either of your right or wrong, it’s just life.

Separation is change and how you manage it will dictate how successfully your children will get through it.

by Julie Gill

Aug 2014 22

Can DIVORCE And FAIR Be Used In the Same Sentence?

Divorce

As a mediator and separation coach I hear this statement all of the time “this isn’t fair”.

As a person who went through a nasty divorce I myself thought many times “this isn’t fair”.

What is fair though? Fair to whom? Fairness is subjective and we each have our own idea of fairness. What I think is fair to me, may not what you think is fair.

I read this quote today and I thought it was very appropriate for this blog post,

“Fairness is protecting not only you but all who are involved.”

Well that is a tall order!

Protect yourself – Yup, got it.

Protect your kids – No problem there.

Protect your ex – Wait, what? No thank you.

by Julie Gill

Jul 2014 31

Divorce – Should I Keep The House? Emotion vs. Logic

Divorce

Divorce and keeping the house, an important factor in any divorce settlement.

You are getting separated, it doesn’t matter whether you are married or common-law, 30 or 55, things are about to change.

1 large piece of that change puzzle is the house. It’s the place where you shared your hopes and dreams and spent a great deal of time and money. You intended to raise your children there or did raise your children there. Let’s not forget that other than the pension it is usually one of a family’s greatest assets. What to do with the house is a big decision that you and your ex will need to make.

Should you keep it? It was your dream house after all and you didn’t kill this dream!

Maybe your ex should keep it? That way they will figure out how much time and money goes into maintaining it!

Sell the house? I can’t afford to keep it and if I can’t have it, neither can my ex!

by Julie Gill

May 2014 26

Difficult Conversations – Getting The Death You Want

Elder Care (Caregiver) Mediation Other Thoughts

Mediation and having difficult conversations about death are probably not things that you think belong together, but they do. Have you told your loved ones what your end of life decisions are? As a so...

by Julie Gill

May 2014 08

DIVORCE – Having Your Day In Court.

Divorce

I hear people say all the time that they don’t want to deal with their ex to sort through separation issues. Sure, I can relate to that. In some cases, specifically where there is domestic violence, power imbalances or an unwilling party, court is a necessary evil. But for the others that say “when a judge hears my side…”, “I will take you to court so that you never see your kids”, “I will convince a judge that I should get everything”, I just cringe. These are statements made by people that are hurt but not well informed.

by Julie Gill

Mar 2014 03

Why Is Mediation The Best Kept Secret?

Family Mediation Other Thoughts

As a Mediator my role is to help people communicate through conflict, to find resolutions to problems and to actively participate in decisions.

Mediation is a fair, safe and balanced process that ensures everyone has a voice. It’s less costly than the legal process and much more efficient in most cases.

Yet I still wonder daily why mediation is not as common place as counselling or lawyers? People in conflict tend to call a counsellor (to deal with the emotional side) or a lawyer (to deal with the legal side). A mediator helps deals with the practical side of conflict which is often where the biggest problems occur.

by Julie Gill

Aug 2013 26

5 Way Meetings – A Successful Solution

Divorce Mediation

It may not be a popular stance but it is one that I whole-heartedly support. Lawyers participating in Family mediation meetings with their clients.

by Julie Gill

May 2013 29

FIGHTING FAIR

Pre-Marriage Relationships

ALL parts of communication are skills that can be learned. Fighting is part of that. Effective communication during a fight is tough though.

Most people are familiar with what an unfair fight looks like…The Blame Game, Silent Treatment, Inappropriate Timing, Threats, Witholding of Affection or Sex. I’m sure that you can name some more.

You hear it all of the time – You need to attack the problem…not the person. How is withholding sex attacking the problem? It’s not. It is however a reaction to being hurt, the need to hurt back.

by Julie Gill

Jan 2013 22

Human Resources and Mediation – A Dynamic Duo

Other Thoughts

It’s well documented that employee stress is a growing concern for organizations today. Stress that negatively impacts the workplace may come from work, personal or family sources.

Workplace dynamics are as unique as each organization and should be aligned to the organizational culture. Having strong Human Resource Management is important to balancing workplace dynamics.

A key role for Human Resources (HR) is to act as an employee advocate. External mediators act as partners to assist with disputes and training. Mediation provides a process that is fair, balanced and confidential. Whether founded or not, a common criticism of HR partners is that they are in place only to support management and employee issues are not dealt with fairly.

by Julie Gill

Dec 2012 10

10 Tips To Avoid Money Conflict In Your Relationships

Pre-Marriage Relationships

Relationships and Money are the perfect breeding ground for conflict. Fear and change can often lead to conflict, in any situation. People have very strong emotions about money. It is the emotions an...

Archive for tag: Julie Gill

Divorce: The Best Interests Of The Children…Or The Parents?

Can DIVORCE And FAIR Be Used In the Same Sentence?

Divorce – Should I Keep The House? Emotion vs. Logic

Difficult Conversations – Getting The Death You Want

DIVORCE – Having Your Day In Court.

Why Is Mediation The Best Kept Secret?

5 Way Meetings – A Successful Solution

FIGHTING FAIR

Human Resources and Mediation – A Dynamic Duo

10 Tips To Avoid Money Conflict In Your Relationships

Families First Mediation & Arbitration