It’s fundamental to the divorce mediation process that you make informed decisions. The mediation process provides you with the opportunity to make decisions that work for your family, however there a...
You have been divorced for 6 years. Your parenting plan did an excellent job of identifying when each of you would be the “active” parent and spend time with your kids. It set out how you were going to parent, how you would handle holidays, expenses and how you as parents would make changes to the plan.
Surprise, surprise, your 15 year old has decided that your parenting plan no longer works for him/her. Did you discuss during your separation how you would handle changes that were initiated by your children?
We hear it all of the time in the Divorce Industry – decisions should be made in the ‘Best interests of the Children”. Seems rather obvious right?
You and the other parent may have different opinions of what decisions are in your children’s best interest. You don’t agree and that’s ok. You were always going to disagree on some aspects of parenting even if you had stayed together.
You can both be looking out for your children’s best interests but believe that can be obtained in different ways. That doesn’t make either of your right or wrong, it’s just life.
Separation is change and how you manage it will dictate how successfully your children will get through it.
I hear people say all the time that they don’t want to deal with their ex to sort through separation issues. Sure, I can relate to that. In some cases, specifically where there is domestic violence, power imbalances or an unwilling party, court is a necessary evil. But for the others that say “when a judge hears my side…”, “I will take you to court so that you never see your kids”, “I will convince a judge that I should get everything”, I just cringe. These are statements made by people that are hurt but not well informed.
Here’s a letter that I wrote back in 2010 to a person that wanted support from someone in the “divorce industry’ to help them with their battle to change the Family Law Process. I had the added (dis)advantage of having also personally gone through it. I just found it and had a quick read. I still feel strongly that lawyers and mediators should work together more to benefit our clients. I have however softened a little as I have met some wonderful lawyers that ARE client focused. Have a read and let me know what you think. I’d love the feedback.
I’m writing this letter in support of your efforts to bring awareness to the changes so desperately needed in the current family law process.