Think it’s tough to bond in a blended family? You’re right it can be, but there are ways to make it easier. Due to the sheer number of divorced families it stands to reason that many coupl...
Jun
2015
15
Feb
2015
15
On December 28th 2014 I was pleased to be a guest on the radio program Mediation Station. Our topic was “Why Would I Need A Mediator?” So, I regularly have people say to me “Oh I am...
Jan
2015
19
Have you been divorced before? If not, you probably don’t know where to start or what to do! That is not uncommon. Divorce – You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know I was sitting in the...
Oct
2014
21
Paying for health care is the biggest worry for aging Canadians – Is your family talking about this?
There was a recent article by The Canadian Press that stated “Working longer may not be possible after serious health events and that paying for health care in old age is Canadians biggest worry.”
The article (read it here) identifies that 47% said they worried about needing more long-term care than they have the money for, while 45 % said they fret over whether they’ll outlive their savings.
If these are the concerns, how do you manage them? For starters, how do you even talk about them with your family?
Should your wife/husband and/or children be aware of what your long-term care wishes are? Should they know how much you have available and what you would like if your savings are not sufficient?
Oct
2014
15
Elder Care Mediation – As our population ages, families are facing many challenges as their living requirements change and age related issues become a normal part of their everyday lives. Perhap...
Oct
2014
07
You have been divorced for 6 years. Your parenting plan did an excellent job of identifying when each of you would be the “active” parent and spend time with your kids. It set out how you were going to parent, how you would handle holidays, expenses and how you as parents would make changes to the plan.
Surprise, surprise, your 15 year old has decided that your parenting plan no longer works for him/her. Did you discuss during your separation how you would handle changes that were initiated by your children?
Sep
2014
29
We hear it all of the time in the Divorce Industry – decisions should be made in the ‘Best interests of the Children”. Seems rather obvious right?
You and the other parent may have different opinions of what decisions are in your children’s best interest. You don’t agree and that’s ok. You were always going to disagree on some aspects of parenting even if you had stayed together.
You can both be looking out for your children’s best interests but believe that can be obtained in different ways. That doesn’t make either of your right or wrong, it’s just life.
Separation is change and how you manage it will dictate how successfully your children will get through it.
Aug
2014
22
As a mediator and separation coach I hear this statement all of the time “this isn’t fair”.
As a person who went through a nasty divorce I myself thought many times “this isn’t fair”.
What is fair though? Fair to whom? Fairness is subjective and we each have our own idea of fairness. What I think is fair to me, may not what you think is fair.
I read this quote today and I thought it was very appropriate for this blog post,
“Fairness is protecting not only you but all who are involved.”
Well that is a tall order!
Protect yourself – Yup, got it.
Protect your kids – No problem there.
Protect your ex – Wait, what? No thank you.
May
2014
26
Mediation and having difficult conversations about death are probably not things that you think belong together, but they do. Have you told your loved ones what your end of life decisions are? As a so...
May
2014
08
I hear people say all the time that they don’t want to deal with their ex to sort through separation issues. Sure, I can relate to that. In some cases, specifically where there is domestic violence, power imbalances or an unwilling party, court is a necessary evil. But for the others that say “when a judge hears my side…”, “I will take you to court so that you never see your kids”, “I will convince a judge that I should get everything”, I just cringe. These are statements made by people that are hurt but not well informed.