A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog about Mediation Advocacy for Family Law Lawyers. It was in support of lawyers attending mediation and how lawyers could and should support it. Since then, I’ve had calls from prospective clients (with lawyers) who didn’t know this was an option. There are a lot of reasons why a family lawyer wouldn’t share alternate dispute resolution (ADR) options with a client, or at least not share them in a way that the client considers them to be viable options, but that’s not what this post is about. This post is for the public. To supply information so that you can feel empowered to advocate for mediation.
It’s 2022 and while I would like to think that everyone knows what mediation is and how it can be helpful in family law situations, that is clearly not the case. Mediators are good at sharing how mediation can be quicker and less costly, which is true. Does that help clear up how mediation can work for you? No, I didn’t think so.
At its simplest, mediation is a process that uses a professional mediator to guide you through gathering information and making decisions about the issues relevant to you, within the framework of the law.
Mediators come from a wide variety of backgrounds. You want to make sure your mediator is properly trained to deal with your situation, and makes you feel comfortable. As mediators we can provide legal information but not advice, regardless of our background. We have no decision-making power, that stays with you. We want you to make informed decisions that feel fair to you. We know that your decisions sometimes don’t line up with your legal entitlements or obligations and that’s ok (unless we are talking about the children and that may not be ok). We want to know what’s important to you and help you get to a place where you can move forward with a plan you both think is fair and balanced. It’s your plan after all.
Did you know?
- Mediation can be used at any time during a separation, including after it.
- Even if you’ve already started the court process you can mediate.
- You can invite your lawyers to take part with you in mediation.
- Mediation is specifically helpful when you don’t agree on things.
- That you don’t have to mediate every issue.
- Processes can be put in place to mediate complex situations including those with power imbalances and violence.
- You don’t need to be in the same room (real or virtual) with your ex.
- You can bring other professionals into mediation.
- Mediators fully support your child’s voice being brought into the conversation.
- You always have other options if mediation fails.
- Minutes of Settlement can be documented at the actual mediation.
I can go on and on (and sometimes I do) about the benefits and the creativity of mediation with a properly trained mediator but this is a blog and not a book 😊.
ANY support you receive during your separation process needs to work for you. It’s your process, your separation, your finances, your home, and your children. If you are like many people who want to avoid court, make your own decisions and also want the support of your lawyers, let’s include them in your mediation! You have the relationship with your lawyer, they work for you, why not invite them into a process that works for you?
Courts are backlogged, decisions aren’t being made, delays are happening. Parents and children alike are living in limbo. You are making up rules as you go along which is adding to the conflict. We hear you. We see you. We want to help you.
Think about mediation for 1 issue to hold you over until you can get in front of a judge, or mediation for all issues. Finding creative ways to help you get out of limbo within a reasonable timeframe can be a reality and be as simple as working with the right team of professionals.
Reach out if you have questions, or to find out how mediation could help you, that’s what we are here for!