I don’t write much anymore about my personal story, or the insights gathered from my 7 years of facilitating a separation support group, but I feel that maybe I should.
I think it provides useful information as we evolve as family dispute resolution professionals. We need to be careful that our evolution is not focused on what we can provide or what we think clients want but what our clients actually want.
When we are working with families, we need to meet them where they are, and we need to be seen as partners.
We screen for power imbalances between parties, are we screening and accommodating for the perceived power imbalance that exists between us and our clients? (This is a whole other blog I feel I need to write)
When I was a client, I needed my family law professionals to be aware of the 20 things below and I have heard it over and over from people that I have had the pleasure of meeting along the way.
A Client’s Perspective – Here are 20 important things that we want you to know:
- We need you to hear us, to ask questions and to know who we are.
- We do not understand the process, how long it will take or if it will end.
- We are terrified that we will end up with nothing.
- We can’t imagine not seeing our kids every day.
- We need you to know and acknowledge how hard it is for us to sit across the table from our ex, this is not a simple request.
- We don’t understand the jargon that is used, please explain it to us in simple language.
- We need to understand our finances in this situation, and we need you to slow down and explain the numbers that you throw around.
- We need you to help us manage the process, but we need to have decision making power.
- We are paying for a service and expect to be treated with respect.
- We expect you to ensure that we are a good fit for your practice and style or refer us elsewhere.
- We expect that you will be prepared and act professionally with the other side.
- We expect you to be considerate of the overall cost to us, emotionally and financially.
- We value your experience, expertise, and insight, but we need to be comfortable questioning you.
- We need to understand the process, the stages, the timelines, and the cost of this undertaking – and when it is going off track.
- We need you, or someone from your office to communicate with us regularly.
- We don’t want to be judged.
- We need to clearly know what you need from us, and why.
- We don’t need you to support or agree with our decisions, we need to understand the consequences of making them.
- We know that what may be in our legal best interest may not be in our personal best interest and we need that understood.
- We need you to know that we are not just a case or a file. We are real people, and this is our life, this is our everything right now.