It’s important to acknowledge the challenges couples separating in 2022 are facing, and how the lack of choice is impacting decisions.
Here in Ontario our housing market has gone through the roof. We’ve lived through Covid-19 lockdowns, restrictions, frustration, and confusion. We’ve lost income, office spaces, personal interactions, friends and family. We’ve squeezed desks into bedrooms, basements, dining rooms and corners in an effort to work and study from home.
Now add to that list of challenges, a rocky relationship.
Separation is almost never easy. Although it may be simple, efficient, or mutually agreed to, I wouldn’t consider separating lives, financials, and homes easy.
As someone who is divorced and went through quite an ugly separation, I can’t even imagine the added level of difficulty separating in 2022. Courts are backlogged like we have never seen, finances are strained, housing is unaffordable, and there is so much uncertainty in our day-day lives.
I know separating couples are choosing to get creative. I know couples are choosing different paths than the traditional lawyer and litigation processes. I know you are making these choices due to the lack of choice in other areas.
Lack of choice may have you deciding to:
- Continue to live together but separately.
- Stay on title after you’ve moved out because your ex can’t qualify for a mortgage based on stricter qualifying requirements, income loss, and/or Covid debt.
- Not equalize your property 50/50 but in another manner that works better for your family and your situation.
- Temporarily suspend or reduce support payments to make ends meet.
- Delay discussion of, or the process of separation.
While you are being creative, please don’t miss out on some things that you must discuss, act on, and make decisions around now.
- Please document your intentions and expectations around responsibilities, financials, parenting, and timelines for temporary decisions.
- Please put together a parenting plan. Describe how you are going to make decisions, what the “active parenting” schedule looks like, and how you will each financially support your children.
- Please document how you are each contributing to household and family expenses.
- Please agree on a separation date.
The longer the time period between your date of separation and the date you complete financial disclosure and prepare a Separation Agreement, the more room there is for conflict, miscommunication, unmanaged expectations, and imbalances.
Whether your path leads you to a lawyer, mediator, or coach, please reach out, ask questions, and get information about the future impact of decisions you are making now.
Do what you can now to set yourself up for success later.
